8 Things Some Nigerians Say When You Tell Them You Don't Want Kids
Not everyone wants to have kids and that is OK. We have to learn to respect other people's choices even though we may not understand their reasons. However, trust some Nigerians to help you mind your business. Here are frustrating things people say when you tell them you don't want kids.
1. You’ll regret it
Well, thank you for those encouraging, supportive, positive words. Definitely go ahead and tell me about how one day, a sense of doom and deep remorse will wash over me and I’ll feel like I wasted my life by not having kids.
2. You’re robbing your parents of grandkids
My parents are more than welcome to go out and adopt some toddlers if it’s so important to them to have little ones around. I should not have children in my charge 24/7 for 18 years so that my parents can enjoy grandchildren for a couple of hours a week or a couple of days a month.
3. That’s selfish
Is it? Hmmm. I think the selfish thing to do would be to have children if I don’t want them and then proceed to be a neglectful, irresponsible, and oblivious parent.
4. Is your partner pressuring you not to?
Some people assume I must secretly want children, but am pretending I don’t in order to appease a partner who doesn’t want them. I didn’t realize these people believed I was so weak-willed, submissive, and incapable of thinking for myself.
5. You must have had a bad childhood
Well, okay—some of this is true. However, I’ve learned enough to know that just because my childhood was rough doesn’t mean all childhoods are rough. I know that I won’t inherit my parent’s parenting styles.
6. So, you don’t like children
This one makes me sad. Hey: would you like me to move into your home and could you please take care of me every hour of every day forever? No? Oh, so you must despise me then. How did that feel?
7. You’ll be lonely when you get older
If my children would be the only people who wanted to be around me when I got older, then I made some terrible choices in my life. Hopefully, I cultivate a community that will be there for me when I get older, kids or no kids.
8. Why not?
I don’t like that the focus is on my reasons not to have kids. Here’s what I have to say to that: someone should only have kids if she has great reasons TO have them. I lack reasons I want to have kids. That’s my “reason” for not wanting them. That’s a pretty good reason to me.